Desperate Housewives of Konoha
by VitaminH2O-Energy
Summary: Konoha suburban neighborhood is ran a specific The men work and the women stay home as perfect Everybody was satisfied with ...until Sakura Haruno moved into the neighborhood, then things take a turn for the Mainly Sak and Slight SakxSas SakxShika SakxNaru SakxKak "I'm been called many things and about only 1/3 of them are " Ultimately Gaara and Sakura.
1. Intro

"I am proud to reconvene once again for our monthly Konoha Neighborhood housewife meeting. Recently, we have all encountered some...trying and devastating times that has postponed our meetings but now I am back and ready to take charge as your leader once again and as leader I declare that our first topic is Sakura Haruno. It is our job to welcome each and every woman that moves into our quaint little cul-de-sac neighborhood but we've got to get her the hell out of here."

_Ouch. As you can see I wasn't getting a party thrown by the welcoming committee. Wait, don't begin throwing your anger at them just yet. I admit it is partially my fault. My status as a homewrecker and a slut and an adulterer have been greatly altered and are completely untrue._

_...Ok so maybe some of it was true. I did cheat on my husband, but he deserved it! As far as being a homewrecker and a slut, well...I don't totally agree with these. I mean you're not technically a slut if you don't sleep with people, otherwise it's just being a flirt, right? And you're not a homewrecker if you deliberately break up a relationship by telling the truth, right? Right? Please tell me I'm right because I've been telling myself I'm right. I wish I could say I felt bad for what I did but in all honesty I don't._

_I guess you can't fully understand why all the housewives in the Konoha neighborhood hate me until I tell you the full story. The story of a desperate housewife._


	2. New Digs

It had been a year. One whole year since he had touched her. They had only been married for three, but the fourth wasn't taking as good of a turn as the first years of newlywed bliss. And better believe that Sakura Uchiha had taken note of this. Hell, she made it known to her husband that she had taken note of this much to his chagrin. Nevertheless, she refused to let it go…until now.

When she first noticed the sex had stopped, she thought it was due to stress at the office, a reasonable excuse she could put up with. When she had married Sasuke, he made her quit her job as a renowned medic claiming that he would take care of every need she could ever need. Ordinarily, if any other man had told her this she would have laughed at the thought of even quitting her profession but Sasuke's proposal was both believable and genuine. He literally went out of his way to make sure she was satisfied and attended for. This didn't surprise her, seeing as how he came from a family where the woman was a housewife and who's only job was to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. Deep down, Sakura always hated being domesticated but Sasuke brought out a side in her that wanted to do these things for him. She wanted to be like those wives in the 50s and 60s sitcoms that greeted their hardworking husband after a long day's work with a martini and dinner on the table and she had set her mind to do exactly that. Until, greeting him around seven o' clock turned into waiting up for him until midnight and that turned into not seeing him until the next day.

Sasuke was fond of the idea of having children as well and lots of them. There was only he and his brother left in his family, and Itachi was sterile and unable to have kids so it was up to them to prolong the Uchiha name. Sakura didn't mind this either, having always wanted kids but the problems didn't occur until they kept trying with no outcome. That's when the sex stopped completely.

She had of course asked her mother for advice to which the Ms. Haruno simply brushed off as the downs of marriage but Sakura knew better. She knew that this was more than a simple trough in the road of marriage. She could see in his eyes every day that he wasn't as happy as he had once been and she suspected she wasn't either. But she wasn't a quitter. She was willing to work on their faults and ignore the impaling feeling that she was losing her husband and her marriage and part of working and compromising was agreeing to relocate to the quaint subdivision neighborhood they were moving to. Konoha, the neighborhood in question, was closer to Sasuke's job and he had bought a nice two story three bedroom house for them there.

Sakura was initially opposed to the idea, regretting leaving her friends and family but decided to compromise because that's what her marriage had come down to. No, her marriage was no longer compromise, it was submission.

She stared out of the window silently as her husband drove the renter's moving truck to their new home. She still couldn't see how he was able to go so long without sex. Sure she had caught him in the bathroom every now and then pleasuring himself but surely that couldn't compare to his wife. She pulled down the visor mirror and looked at her reflection. She hadn't gained any weight, in fact she was quite petite for her age. She didn't have any signs of aging showing on her face either. Her long pink hair was straightened and cascaded down to the arch of her back. Her eyes shone greener than ever and her skin was free of any imperfections. So why did he not want to have sex with her anymore? Could it really be that he didn't find her attractive anymore?

Closing the mirror, she smiled at him deciding to forget the thought completely. "I'm really excited about the new house." She said.

He looked at her out the corner of his eye and then back to the road. "Hn."

Over time she had become accustomed to his made up one word answers. "I can't believe you found us one with a big backyard and a pool. I can start a garden! And we can have pool parties and invite all of our family and friends from back home to visit."

"The only family I have left is Itachi and he's much too busy to come to a stupid pool party." He said this time not looking at her at all. She frowned a bit drumming her fingers on the window.

"Well…the extra bedrooms will be perfect…for when we have kids. Maybe we should start trying again." She tried.

Sasuke remained silent. Yeah. She didn't think so. She looked at her wedding ring and turned it around her finger before returning to look out the window. The grass there was much greener and crisper then back home. She could tell whomever they hired to do the lawn work and gardening was great at his job.

The truck slowed down as it approached a gate and a small security booth. A blonde haired man was sitting in the booth with a bored expression. His hair was spiky and reached the nape of his neck and his blue eyes seemed that they should be full of energy rather than boredom. He eyed the couple and gave a big grin when he realized he had never seen them before.

"You must be the new homeowners!" he said. "I heard a new couple was moving in. I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"Hi!" Sakura said grinning practically leaning over her husband towards the driver side window. "I'm Sakura and this is my husband Sasuke-"

"Could you just open the gate?" Sasuke snapped to the blonde.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, face slightly flushed, and fumbled for the switch. "Yeah, sure uh no problem."

The gate slowly began to open and Sakura gave him an apologetic smile as Sasuke continued to drive. "That was rude. He was just trying to be cordial."

"I'm very tired Sakura. I can be cordial some other time."

She sat back in her seat and took in the neighborhood. Her first impression was that it was very clean. There seemed to be not a leaf or petal out of place. All the houses looked similar in structure but only varied in color. There were white washed picket fences to separate yards and perfectly trimmed hedges along porches. There were apple trees in some yards, cherry trees in others, and a lot of flowers. All the colors looked so well together. Kids ran up and down the sidewalk, playing in the summer heat while others danced in front yard sprinklers. _Moving here might not be so bad. It seems peaceful,_ she thought.

They pulled into the cul-de-sac area of the neighborhood and Sasuke positioned the car in park. Sakura eagerly hopped out of the car and stretched taking in a deep breath. This place wasn't so bad. She looked at a pale powder blue house at the center of the cul-de-sac and turned to Sasuke. "Is that it?" he simply nodded and she sprinted towards the building not waiting for a second command.

She turned the knob on the front door and walked in. Everything was so…perfect. The walls were painted a cream like color and the foyer led straight to the living room with the staircase to the right and a restroom to the left. Sakura slowly walked forward as if afraid to move further into their house and peeked into the bathroom. She then ran into the living room, the kitchen, upstairs, and to the basement. It was all so perfect compared to the apartment they once shared together. She finally went out to the backyard and smiled at its size and the pool.

"Sakura! These boxes aren't going to unpack themselves." Sasuke hissed as he sat some boxes down.

She snapped out of her thoughts and went to unpack. There was really no way that she and Sasuke wouldn't be able to patch things up living here. This was a house for a family…they were a family. He wouldn't insist on moving to a place like this unless he really wanted to be a family right?

Her head looked up when she heard another voice other than Sasuke's outside. Curiously, she began to approach the front door and peeked out. A woman with long blonde hair tied up in a bun wearing a pale yellow dress and white pumps was standing at the foot of the porch holding what appeared to be a pie and a man with long brown hair pulled into a spiky ponytail stood next to her with his hands shoved in his pockets. Sakura raised her brow. She thought she was a real housewife but this woman was definitely the spitting image of a housewife with her skater dress and heels and the pie? The perfect touch. Sakura looked at her revealing jean shorts and spaghetti strap top and sandals which she thought was appropriate for the weather but apparently not. She chuckled to herself. She was being ridiculous! This woman could have just come home from some type of church organization or a business meeting, yeah! She might not even be a housewife and probably picked that pie up from the supermarket bakery.

Gathering up some courage, the pinkette emerged from the house drawing some attention to herself. The blonde's mouth dropped slightly before she recovered her countenance and the man just stared. Sasuke looked at his wife and then back to the couple.

"This is my wife, Sakura." Sasuke said as she came to his side bearing a smile.

"Hi nice to meet you." Sakura beamed holding out her hand.

"Oh!" the woman said slowly not reaching out to take her hand. "Sasuke I didn't realize when the newcomer moved in he was married." She said staring at the hand still. Sakura reluctantly withdrew her arm.

"I'm Shikamaru Nara." The man said grabbing her hand and shaking it himself. Sakura turned to face him and noticed that he had a beautiful pair of brown eyes and very strong features. She reddened slightly. "Please excuse my wife Ino's rudeness." He said glaring at the blonde.

Ino forced a smile and nodded her head. "Oh where are my manners. I am so sorry…it's just…that is such an interesting outfit you're wearing." She said taking note of the pinkette's appearance.

"How so? It's almost near 100 degrees outside. I'm surprised you can put up with that get up. But you have to look good for work right?" Sakura laughed.

Ino blinked and tightened her mouth in a straight firm line. "I don't work. I'm a housewife. My husband provides for our family." She said wrapping an arm around her husband's bicep.

"Really? Me too." Sakura said. Sasuke gave her a look of irritation but she blatantly ignored it whereas Shikamaru and Ino showed pure surprise.

"Really now….that's interesting. All of the housewives here, certainly don't parade around in the nothingness you're wearing." Ino said.

"Ino," Shikamaru said in a warning tone. "It was nice meeting you Sasuke." He said taking the pie from his wife's hands and handing it to the Uchiha. He turned to the pinkette. "Sakura." He said nodding before grabbing his wife's hand and leading her to their home next door.

"Well that was rude." Sakura huffed placing her hands on her hips. "Can you believe her ridiculing my outfit?"

Sasuke handed her the pie and began walking towards the truck. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. "Maybe you should go change." He said finally.

"You can't be serious, Sasuke." She said in disbelief. "It's hot as hell out here."

"I don't want any problems. We just moved here. So if the standard is for housewives to not show so much skin then so be it. Besides, I don't like the way that Shikamaru guy was eying you."

She held the pie in one hand and placed the other on her hip. "You do realize you're telling me to obey what she said! She's no one to me."

"She's our neighbor. She's in touch with the other neighbors. You're the one that's going to be here all day everyday so it'd be best not to make enemies and friends instead and if that means wearing a dress then so be it." He said walking back to the truck.

She huffed and went back into the house. _Who did she think she is?_ She slammed the pie on the counter. _With her perfect Bewitched/I Dream of Genie wife stereotype. I bet this pie is terrible. _She unwrapped the saran wrap and tore a piece with hand and bit into it.

Crap, it's great.


End file.
